While my roommates indulged in their work-related kvetching (thank G-d I work in television!), I considered how fortunate they were to have boyfriends, who by definition had to listen to their daily rants without complaint. I lacked that, and so when there was a pause in the conversation, I interjected, “Can we transition and talk about my love problems?”
One of them quickly remarked, “Can I just go to sleep?” And when I shot her my death stare, she retorted, “Well, if I have to push off sleeping until you find a boyfriend I will be awake forever!” And if I hadn’t been so averse to the phrase “I’m offended,” I might have protested. Instead, I turned and informed her that she would form the focus of my next blog post. (I’ll leave judgment to cyberspace.)
But, seriously, can we pause and contemplate the gravity of her statement? It used to be that my high school friends lamented my inevitable spinster status, but now my Wellesley biddies are joining the fray. I have reached a point where even non-Jews cannot make heads or tails of my failed attempts at romance. Gays, religious zealots, botanists– oh my!
Enter Aldie, the magical little boy who makes me want to fight the good (single lady) fight. On a recent subway ride Aldie noticed I was less than myself– and this in spite of the grande skinny vanilla latte in my hand. “Well,” I shrugged, “I just–”
“I know,” he interjected, “you are making the lonely girl face. But you have me, at least three times a week, and you have half this city behind you. The only place you are truly lonely is your mind.” With wise words like those I should pay him and not my therapist. He said in a minute what she has been alluding to for close to two months now.
Loneliness is a state of mind, and I am only as alone as I think I am. Or, as the aforementioned roommate said, until she goes to sleep. Which apparently is now– less than 40 minutes after the egregious comment was made. And this is, of course, excellent news because with sleep comes the promise of a boyfriend. Or at least a boy who is more than a friend.