No, I am not a raging alcoholic. In fact, I have yet to master the difference between hard and soft liquor (is there such a thing as “soft liquor?”). But I am resourceful– and despite my rather pathetic attempts at recycling– attempt to maximize the use of every item in my itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny apartment.
Now imagine my surprise when I discovered half a lemon in my fruit drawer. Knowing its shelf life was limited, I determined to do what any girl home alone on January 1st would do, make myself a drink. And after tracking down some orange juice and coconut rum, I did just that– employing the remaining lemon in the creation of the Bahama Mama.
Two ounces later, and I remembered why my drink of choice is Diet Coke. I felt tipsy, queasy, and all kinds of no-good, very-bad feelings. I poured the remnants down the drain and curled up with an equally no-good, very-bad movie: Morning Glory, in which Rachel McAdams plays an aspiring news producer who winds up living happily ever with her equally attractive male co-producer. It was a standard Grade C movie, and it was just what the doctor called for.
While I was not drunk– after all I had taken a mere two sips– I remembered why my standard indulgence is not cheap alcohol. It’s a downer, and frankly, at the start of a new year, the last thing I need is a depressant. I need to be able to reflect on the 2011 highlights: completing a senior thesis, starting a new job, interviewing a prolific southern rapper, nannying for an equally prolific midwestern rapper, and increasing my caffeine tolerance. And if I am not completely lucid, I am unable to take in the magnitude of my experiences.
So here’s to a year of sobriety, in which I end each post with a literary quote– this time from Jack Kerouac: “Be in love with your life. Every detail of it.” And Moses do you notice the details when you’re pumped up on lattes and not liquor.