It was the 2004 Presidential Election and yours truly was ineligible to vote. Despite my angry letters to then President Bush, I was not granted special voting dispensation. The only election I could participate in– a mock school election, in which each student cast a ballot for her presidential nominee of choice.
While the liberal in me wanted to embrace Kerry with open arms, the American Jew in me was skeptical of his foreign policy. But Heaven knows I was not going to vote in the Texas Ranger. And so I did what any Orthodox Jewish girl distressed with her political choices would do, I voted for Moses.
He truly was a model of Jewish leadership. Bold, determined, and a whole lot of feisty, Moses led a nation of kvetchers through the desert for forty years. And with the exception of that one incident with the rock, he never lost his cool. He didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep, and when in doubt, Moses sought counsel from the Highest Counsel (you down with G-O-D?).
But perhaps most notably, Moses was pretty darn humble. And given his major accomplishments, he easily could have been riding the high and mighty train. However, he checked his ego at the door, and as a result succeeded in leading a rather rowdy group of Jews through a desert wasteland.
If only Mr. Cain had consulted his Bible before embarking on his political adventure. He might have learned a thing or two from my presidential pic of 2004. In particular Cain could have mastered the art of humility, rather than constantly depicting himself as the world’s cockiest political candidate.
While his rise to fame would have been significantly slower, he might still have been able to save face. Well, maybe not. He would still have had to know a thing or two about Libya:
And abortion: .
But, in all seriousness, if Cain had been a little less himself, he and I could have had a few more months together. And now the raging liberal in me is left with one less source of comic relief. No, Rick Perry isn’t a close second. Perry forgetting the Department of Commerce in an economic debate is not nearly as humorous as Cain’s campaign manager smoking a random cigar during the filming of his campaign ad.
This is all a long-winded way of saying, Cain, you will be missed by this here loonie leftie. That, and you’re no Moses.