The intellectual capacity of a peanut.

I tend to seek guidance from Broadway musicals, particularly in moments of emotional duress. In the midst of final projects and New York apartment hunting, I found myself blasting Footloose highlights when few in the library would notice. My song du choice: “Heaven Help Me,” performed by a Bible Belt preacher who has banned all dancing in his small southern town.

Though I never suspected I would come to identify with a musical version of Mike Huckabee, I nonetheless have. And at 11:45 last night, I was singing, “If heaven can’t, who can?” rather loudly from a deep dark corner of the digitizing room in the library. Though none paid me any attention, I found it liberating to engage in a little preacher-inspired karaoke.

When I subsequently received my first ever ill-intentioned blog comment in my however brief blog career, I attempted to sing– a la Lucy Ricardo– “Heaven helps the man who fights his fears.” Said commenter stated that I was a fool to adore Howard Schultz, Starbucks CEO and Coffee God, because he was just another example of the capitalist caffeine agenda at play.

Now as a woman who takes her coffee extremely seriously, I was quite frustrated by the insinuation that only a person with the intellectual capacity of a peanut would endorse the mermaid-loving caffeine establishment. I subsequently responded that only an individual with the emotional capacity of a peanut could post such a comment. Then, as all bloggers lacking thick skins do, I deleted the egregious comment– sending it into the permanent depths of cyberspace.

At this point I was prepared for the midnight warning library bell to shake me of my blogger jubilation, and so I determined to blast one final song: “Time Warp.” After sitting in front of a computer for eight hours, I was ready for a jump to the left and a step to the right. And yes, I’ll admit it, even a pelvic thrust.

In the words of this lovely poster– courtesy of my favorite cinematic partner-in-crime:

This little coffee addict is ready to collect her diploma and take the city that breathed life into her by storm.

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One response to “The intellectual capacity of a peanut.

  1. I love everything about this post. Take NY by storm, baby 😉

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