Dear G-d, It’s me, the grounded one.

And just to clarify, I don’t mean grounded in the rational thinking sense. I mean it literally. While I generally avoid the country  music genre, in the  midst of my canceled-flight-to-England despair, I turned to a country-only playlist on youtube. Most country music is about accidentally getting pregnant or furtively getting rid of a pregnancy– both of which are sorry mistakes for which there can be little relief, except perhaps in a recorded and heavily edited musical number.

When I go into my dark and twisty place, I crave musicals. Though country is a far cry from Broadway, I did happen upon one song that provided a perfect synopsis of my rather pathetic flying experiences. Sung by the country-pop crossover sensation, LeAnn Rimes, who rose to fame at the tender age of 13 and has never experienced a moment of normal American existence since, it is a ballad for those who did her wrong:

“Baby shame on you, if you fool me once
Shame on me if you fool me twice
You’ve been a pretty hard case to crack
Should’ve known better but I didn’t
And I can’t go back”

Yes, this is a song that I dedicate to every British airport that ever did me wrong. A canceled flight due to unsafe flying conditions is acceptable, but when those conditions are a result of British bureaucratic incompetency, it is worthy of an embittered musical number.

After my experience with volcanoes spontaneously combusting/erupting, I thought I had seen my share of crazy weather conditions and flight cancelation causations. I mean what could be more absurd than a volcano that has been dormant for 200 years suddenly erupting the day I am to take off for my Barcelona-Lisbon excursion? And that said volcano, despite being hundreds of miles from my point of departure– England, should disrupt my travel plans?

Enter the worst four letter word of them all: snow. Apparently neither the conservatives nor the liberals included acquiring shovels and melting ice in their campaign platforms. Apparently neither party thought that snow, which just happens to fall on a yearly basis in England, would cause any disruption to any holiday travelers. Apparently, as my cynical self is discovering, they simply didn’t think.

As a result, I will be forced to spend the holiday season in the best city in the world. Yes, there is a silver lining in all of this. After two hours on the phone with representatives from Continental, I rescheduled my flight for spring break– ironically, on the anniversary of the Icelandic volcanic eruption. And in the interim, I will participate in spectacular New York holiday events.

My first stop: Bergdorf Goodman Holiday Window Display. Harrod’s has got nothing on Bergdorf, as evidenced below.

Also, as I am biologically incapable of taking a complete break from reality, I have scheduled my staycation. It will involve a tea tour of Manhattan, a stop at my new favorite store on Broome St, a Spencer Tracy-Katherine Hepburn rom-com marathon, and a bit of work on my senior thesis. Because in the words of Ms. Rimes herself,

“Oh Life goes on
And it’s only gonna make me strong
It’s a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye cause you can’t go back
Oh it’s a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I’m at, is my life before me
And this feelin’ that I can go back”


One response to “Dear G-d, It’s me, the grounded one.

  1. I appreciate your use of “dark and twisty,” though I’m sorry that British incompetence in dealing with weather has got you feeling that way.

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