Bagels and lox cupcakes, or, the reason I will need to diet before my wedding

Now I must preface this entry by saying I am not planning on wedding in the immediate future. However, I recognize that the caloric decisions I make at 21 may adversely affect my marriageable opportunities. To cite my biology lab partner, “Fat is the substrate that prevents you from mating.” Her prescription– building protein or lean body mass.

Sadly finals has resigned me to a sedentary state, in which I  refrain from exercise that builds the aforementioned lean body mass while consuming foods of the fatty acid variety. On this particular day, when I am homesick and in desperate need of a bagel with lox and a schmear, I have determined to craft the Bagels and Lox Cupcake. Though, in theory, it sounds like a horrific amalgamation of two delicious lipid-filled food products, I can assure you that the title is anything but literal.

Taking my cue from Hello, Cupcake!, a wonderful cupcake blog and book, I  have devised a baked good guaranteed to induce hip-expansion upon first taste. The recipe yields 24 cupcakes, each featuring a sliced mini-doughnut, sprinkled with poppy seeds on top of its base. The doughnut–designed to mimic the bagel– is filled with Starbucks fruit chew, which serves as the “lox” and adorned with strands of green Twizzlers, or “lettuce.”

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