The true source of my procrastination: my mother

I could blame the endless coffee blogs I frequent for my failure to complete work efficiently and effectively, or even  my propensity for checking the Anthropologie online sales rack each morning (even though new merchandise is placed on sale only on Tuesdays), but the truth is neither one is the actual source of my problem. In fact, the root cause: the daily bombardment of emails I receive from my mother.

The subject of the aforementioned emails vary. Some are tagged: “interesting article,” “petition you MUST sign if you love Israel,” or perhaps my personal favorite, “Who said Jews don’t have rhythm? Feast your eyes on the Maccabeats.” Yes, for the sake of Chanukah celebration, which is a vital component of  the Blumenthal-Fredrick household, my mother has made it her mission to send me a daily youtube video related to the Festival of Lights.

The common denominator between these videos– aside from their seasonal theme– is that they feature yeshiva boys in pseudo-pop star mode, crooning their largely female audiences, while attempting to rhythmically sync their otherwise basic choreography. And taking their cues directly from the chart-toppers of today, they customize current pop music– providing a Jewish twist on the likes of Enrique Iglesias and Taio Cruz. Imagine “Dynamite” as an ode to the miracle of oil that lasted eight days and nights:

Or Justin Bieber as a member of the Tribe in a National Dreidel Association t-shirt.

It is no wonder my lesson plan for my Teach For America interview is far from complete. I am distracted by the men in black slacks and budding beards.

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2 responses to “The true source of my procrastination: my mother

  1. just tickling your pintele yid….. and helping you find traditional ways to procrastinate…. of course you can always hit the DELETE button

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